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Friday, September 24, 2010

Chapter 3

When they go through the door they enter a magical world. They are in a meadow and there is a little girl, with long golden hair, picking what Kyla thinks is strawberries.
“Hi, what’s your name?” Kyla asks the little girl.
The girl looked up and with a surprised look on her face, she ran down the meadow. Both the girls run after. Soon they come across a beautiful golden castle.
“Wow,” Kira says, “Everything here is so........ golden.”
“I know.” Kyla said in response.
Just then, a person came out of the castle. She gasped and ran back in. A few moments later, she came back out with thousands of people. They all looked like normal humans except they had glimmery wings on their backs.
“Welcome to the land of the Sunpixis.” Said a tall man.
Eventually when Kyla found her voice, she said “Did you say Sun-PIXIES? You don’t look like pixies to me.”
The man laughed. “Not pixies! We are Sunpixis. Long ago the ones before us came from the sun. The sun is our power source. If the sun dies, we die.”
He and a tall women stepped forward. “You are not human. I am your father and this is your mother. You are our daughters. Princesses of the Sunpixis.
Kyla and Kira stared at them in disbelief.
“Welcome Home.” Their Parents said, “Welcome Home.”

3 comments:

  1. Getting better but still need improvement, consider revising to add detail.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I LOVE IT!!!!! Try describing the castle, the girl, and the man and woman.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OK. Thanks for the comments. I will do a final draft afterwards. ☺ ☻

    ReplyDelete